Leaving with a heavy heart... (written in Cambodia, Jun 2017)

So far on our trip in Southeast Asia, Cambodia's attractions have been the most expensive, but the country's infrastructure has been the worst. A natural question: Where is the money going??? As it turned out, the locals we talked to were wondering about the same thing.

From being asked for $3 pp "processing fee" at the Thailand-Cambodia border (which we refused to pay, and our visas were granted anyway) to paying $37 pp for Angkor Wat (mind you, a meal at an average restaurant costs $1.5, the average salary here is $25 per week), to being quietly asked for a bribe at a boat trip office, to finally — being openly requested "tips" at the airport when our passports were being stamped!

And then, there were kids steering boats, cutting coconuts, selling all kinds of things, counting fluently from 1 to 10 in English, Chinese, and Cantonese at us. Those we met in the morning told us they went to school in the afternoon, and those we met in the afternoon told us they went in the morning... Locals said public school teachers aren’t paid well and don’t teach well. Poor parents would rather that their kids learn survival skills and help them earn.

Sigh.

I keep thinking about my experiences in Kenya last year, how besides personal encounters, I was repeatedly told that the country's EACC (Anti-Corruption Commission) was corrupted itself. Unlike that time, I'm not volunteering in Cambodia, but I've done some research on local NGOs. Had the government been doing its job, NGOs didn't need to exist.

As some of you might know, Cambodia's recent history has been devastating. In the 70s, under the rule of Pol Pot, two million people were murdered. Anyone belonging to the following categories was executed: urban dwellers who refused to be relocated to the countryside, people of non-Cambodian ethnicity, those who had ties with any foreign government, and finally, intellectuals. Last year I posted about how we were all fundamentally the same. Ideologies across "bad" governments in different parts of the world, at different times, aren't exceptions. Ever since the end of Pol Pot's rule, Cambodians have been with their current government, which turned out to be "powerful and corrupt," as the locals said.

Our trip in Southeast Asia seems like a lot of fun from the photos, and yes, it is. But places that left me with the deepest impact, I didn't know how to post photos. The Landmine Museum here in Siem Reap, for example, War Remnants Museum in Ho Chi Minh City, for example... Compared to my usual trips as a solo traveller, spending time with my parents left me little space for self-reflection, but Cambodia triggered something inside me.

As I type, another blackout comes our way.

Every journey reminds me of things happening beyond our fortunate circle, reminds me to step back and look at the bigger picture that encompasses not only our era, our own field of work, our own community, our own religion, and the seed of hatred buried in us (look inside you, I'm talking about both sides of any political or whatever coins).

The Small Eid (referred to as Hari Raya in Malaysia) is coming up, and we're heading to Malaysia. Happy Eid to everyone celebrating it!