Western isolation (written in Canada, Jul 2015)

The further a society progresses, the more people are isolated from each other. Is it that less harm must be accompanied by less interaction? Do we really not need to rely on each other anymore -- emotionally? In rural China, India, Philippines, Thailand, and a few Central and South American countries I set foot in, it was the ties among human beings that moved me more than anything else.

At the same time, there are more people in developing countries who abuse others' trust and use ties for unfairness and corruption. Looking at these countries is, in a sense, looking back in time. It feels as if the world has evolved the hard way. Through generations, we found methods to get things done without having to trust anyone. As a result, we develop in many positive ways while growing apart.

There was a taxi driver I encountered four years ago in Florida. The story was simple. He told us that he needed extra money to pay his bill due by the end of the day, and since it was already late in the evening, he asked if we could pay him in advance for taking us to the airport the second morning. My parents said no, as would most people. Who would hand fifty bucks to a stranger for an unguaranteed future event? I would, as I did. And when I saw him waiting for us outside our hotel the second morning, I couldn’t have been happier. In that moment, I saw the beauty of humanity.

You may ask: What if he didn't come? Would I do the same again? Yes. I'd assess the situation with my limited wisdom and act true to my heart. In Buddhism and Hinduism, the linkage among all living beings in the world plays a crucial role. Your loss may lead to righteous gains elsewhere. We're all parts of a great whole; there is no loss to you if you forget about yourself. A beautiful philosophy to embrace.

I've hitch-hiked in a quarter of the countries I have lived and visited on my own, and I have never been in trouble. If you don't dare to give your trust, then you won't be returned with one of the most beautiful forms of human kindness.

"Are you single, married, or divorced?" This was the second question I was asked in Lima, Peru. It became my first impression of South America and my impression throughout, especially in the rural area where I volunteered.

That's a cultural thing, you may say, the guy risks getting slapped asking that in the West.

Well, pause for a second. Why is it that on the train in developing countries, 80% of the time, people strike up a conversation with me, and we have a great time, and in developed countries, 80% of the time, I strike up a conversation with them, and we have an equally great time? Is it false that in the West, we long for the same closeness?

There are reasons for the social norm that you shouldn't "disturb" strangers on public transportation. Perhaps one is that you don't "trust" them enough for the possibility of having a great time; you think it'd decrease your productivity. Hence you'd rather play with your phone. And what do you do if you really want to talk? Well, you use a comment like "I like your tattoo" even when you find it ridiculous. How amusing it is that, in comparison, in South America, you can genuinely ask if someone is single from the get-go because you genuinely want to know!

Or perhaps, you're just "too busy" to set aside your own business to spare a minute to check out other people's lives. What Would You Do? had an episode on people's reaction to a deeply upset young man in the park. If the setting was India instead of America, at least triple of the passing individuals would have reacted. Pause for a minute, busy people of the West. Instead of your family, work, and your rather static circle of friends, pause for a minute to check out other people and how their lives are lived. You're missing out on a huge potential for learning and the honour of helping someone in need.

It's rather idealistic but not forbidden by the laws of physics to live a life of high quality while maintaining human closeness. It has formed an integral part of our nature since the days of our ancestors.

Life is beautiful when we share it with trust, heart to heart.